what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
