Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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