we have officially lost it.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
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her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
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Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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