I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
