The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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