If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
