I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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