i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
