i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
