What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
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I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
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just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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