apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
