I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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