Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
