dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
