we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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