Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
