oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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