yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
A bitchslap is in order.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
