mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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