I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
We don't watch enough power rangers
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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