i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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