I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
