A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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