why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
