I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
