If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
