girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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