i just google imaged poop.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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