remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize