So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
try to milk me bitch
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