My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
