Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
