I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
