And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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