The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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