Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
