Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
