I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
