Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
