Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
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You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
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Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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