Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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