We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm having to shit out rocks
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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