Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
