hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
