ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
