I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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