She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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