This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
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so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
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THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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