wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
