please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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