still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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