i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
