She's JV to your varsity
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
