Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
